A few weeks ago I talked to my OBGYN about PPD (post partum depression). I was formally diagnosed and given an antidepressant for treatment. Now in all honesty, I have been depressed before and I have had it worse than this. But I knew I was allowing this stress to dictate my day to day life. Sadly though the medication did create a small decrease in my breast milk and then I got sick with a horrible cold which decreased my milk even more, so I stopped the medication and am kind of getting anxious and depressed again but I am dealing with it and trying to decide what my next steps are.

I was fine for about a week. But then today I was noticing how anxious I was and how I felt...broken. I realized after a few hours of worrying about something ...that it was because I was no longer on the medication that was prescribed to help me. I was supposed to have a follow up visit with my doctor but since I was sick for almost 2 weeks, I had to cancel my appointment TWICE. I am still trying to decide when to go back.

In the meantime I am trying to help a family member who is going through the same thing (slightly different but shes a new mom, and she has ppd as well). I feel for her, I know how it is and being a mom of 3, I wish more people were around to help support new moms, not matter how many kids you have. Hormones are the worst and I am entering the stage of my post partum where I have hairloss, fun times right? Not only are women trying to get back in shape from birthing an entire human, dealing with aging and saggy skin, but now hair loss too?

Holidays are coming up and things are changing here as well. The dogs cannot stay outside as much because of the cold and allergies. So they are inside going stir crazy. The co-op we are in meets outdoors so I am trying to make sure the kids are bundled up enough. We are trying to sort out xmas gifts, money and who to allow near the baby and our almost 4 year old. Heck I don't even know what to do for her birthday this year. I would love to do a birthday party but honestly it isn't a smart idea. I want to wait until she is old enough for a vaccination against COVID, as well as her little sister.

Later this month my son (my oldest child) will be traveling to Indiana to visit his father. He generally goes to his dad's ONCE a year, we missed the summer time but he was talked into visiting for Thanksgiving. He is nervous about COVID, right fully so. But I am buying him a bunch of masks to wear and we are going to test him BEFORE he goes, he will get a test THERE and he will get a test once he is home. The free tests my state provides is EASY to do and they ship over night, you can get your results with in 24 hours if you ship it off asap.

My son is vaccinated. But my two younger children are not old enough yet. Hence the testing. Traveling on an airplane is tricky because he will be so close to other people for the first time since the pandemic started. Most of our events we go to are outdoors or fully masked and he is going to his anti-covid vaxxer dad's house. So yeah...

Ugh well - I realized it is almost midnight and I need to get some rest so off I go to bed!