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Wednesday, 3 April 2024

When I realized I should have tried harder

I moved to the U.S., and after living for over twenty years, I thought I wouldn't return to my home country. But when the corona virus raged through all over the world, I was so scared and rushed back to Japan! At that time, I had no idea what…
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When I realized I should have tried harder

palmtreela

April 3

I moved to the U.S., and after living for over twenty years, I thought I wouldn't return to my home country. But when the corona virus raged through all over the world, I was so scared and rushed back to Japan! At that time, I had no idea what I should do the next. That was May, 2021.

After that, I studied to obtain qualifications in the housing industry, studied foreign languages, and tried various things with my eyes on the future.In the process, past memories came back to me. Most of it was bitter… Why did I waste my time with futile efforts? Why didn't I choose a field with a more promising future? And are they all a waste? Can't I make use of these for the future?

Or, maybe I have to be thankful to this opportunity, because I finally have time to reflect on myself and my past days. I made a plan and went ahead with it. It was somewhat successful. But it often stalled. That's when I made another plan and executed it… Basically, I have been living in this cycle. So, in the end, what was wrong with my approach?

Now I probably know what was wrong. My approach was weak, or I didn't do enough. It lacked quantitatively. For example, after coming back to Japan, I tried to find a job related to English ability. Now I know why I failed to find one. If I had a certain qualification in English, my job-hunting would have been successful. My English ability was so-so good, but not excellent. I did study English well, but not did to the extreme.

One thing that encourages me is an article about a practicing doctor over 100 years old. He is such an inspiration. Whenever I feel tired and want to take a rest, the article pops up in my mid. And a little bit scary his face expression keeps me moving forward!

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