Har khanni ki shurvat shandar ho zaruri nahi. Aur end bhi sab achha ho, ye bhi zaruri nahi.
Toh ye khanni ek anjaam se shuru hui, waqt galat tha, par shayad iraade ache the. Ek galati 30th feb ki Jo shayad hume alag kar sakti thi, par na jaane hum kyon fir vapis chale aaye. Koi rista agar sach ki talvar nahi jhel sakta toh uska tut jana hi achha hai.
Par humne sachai ko jhel kar ek nayi shurvat ki. Vahan se jahan se log aksar aapni udaan bharte hai, Bombay se. Mere liye vo sheher humesha tumhari yaadein lati hai. Tumhari toh kaafi yaadein hai par meri sirf kuch hai aur, vo bahut khaas hai.
Par iss pyaar mohobbat, dosti yaari, kaam kaaz mai mohabbat ko sideline kardiya, na khud par na uss par focus kar payi mai.
Focus tha toh bas ek thakan par, zindagi ki vo thakan jiska solution koi pahad ya beach ke pass nahi tha. Aur shayad inn sab mai bhi we thought we can sail. We tried and tried until the boat could no longer handle the burden. And I don't blame any of us.
We did take a beautiful turn to find a place where our relationship can thrive, we went to the mountains, all by ourselves. Adding another core memory to us. Maybe I can make a thousand of such trips to live those moments with him again.
But he realised that we will sink if we don't switch our boats. And here we are in our individual boats, all again. Sailing alongside, on our own way to healing.
Shayad hum kabhi phir na milen. Aur yeh theek hai. Sabse zaruri baat yeh hai ki pyar tha, har tareeke se.
Him driving to my home to make me feel better, me walking with french fries to his home to make him feel special, he cutting his friends, his badminton to create a few extra hours of memories, me taking all the risk to go to the mountains with him. He gave his hand from behind while sleeping because he knew that I would like to hold his hands and that it would calm me down.
He was smiling through it, and I was just being patient.
We both choose our ways and as every story may not have a happy ending, this one ended with a lot of fear, tears and fights, maybe for us to just sail through life with a happy mind and soul.
To the only one who is reading this, this is not a shout out for you to come back, it's a signal, that you are not alone, and that you don't deserve to be treated with someone else's demons. And that you deserve all the happiness in the world.
Yeh mushkil hai, par jaise tumne kaha, yeh dard bhi bhar jaayega aur hum theek ho jayenge. Kyonki koi past ko sahi karde, saare hatiyar chupa de, sabut mita de, aisi sarkar toh humne aapni banayi nahi. Toh tum galat nahi aur mai sahi nahi. Yehi zindagi hai, aur issi ko shayad jeena kehte hai.
To sleepless evening ✨
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