Bring your pet giraffe to the Giraffe Go-Karting Centre located here in sunny Wigan of Lancashire. We have the BEST giraffe-based go-karting track for your beloved large African mammal, with especially designed go-karts to accommodate for these massive bastard creatures and their huge, huge necks.
Our outdoor track has room for 13 giraffes AT ONCE for the most exciting, action-packed, thrilling, bizarre motorsport event ever seen in history! BOOK TODAY!
Please note, if any of your pet giraffes begin fighting and/or mating on our premises you and your pet will be permanently banned.
Our Giraffe Friendly Go-Kart Centre
Once you've entered your details, please prepare your giraffe(s) for the go-karting event ahead. They'll need specific equipment, including a:
- Helmet
- Go-kart (we don't provide them, sorry)
- Snacks (e.g. cucumber sandwiches)
- Selection of giraffe-based motivators
- E.g. "Go on, you tall yellow bastard, you can win it!"
- Multitude of very long gloves to cover their very long limbs
Once you have this equipment, order your go-karting session! THRILLS, SPILLS, AND VERY LONG NECKS AWAIT!
About Our Go-Karting Track
Our track is in the shape of an oval. Yes, this does induce dizziness. Please note, if your pet giraffe vomits on the circuit you're responsible for clearing that mess up.
There will be a driving instruction video prior to the 30 minute racing session. The video, presented by Jeffrey the Giraffe from the Toys 'R' Us advert, will cover:
- How to steer
- How to brake
- How to drive
- What to do in the event of a fireball accident
- How to duck to avoid bridges (as there are several on our circuit)
- Information regarding the local hippopotamus, Henry, who has a habit of rampaging across the circuit in a fury
The track is prone to flooding (as it's outdoors and in the North West of England... i.e. lots of rain), but otherwise it's a thrill-a-minute hoo-hah that'll make your pet giraffe ambulate with joy upon hearing the news it'll be go-karting shortly.
Health & Safety Disclaimer
Disclaimer: Giraffes are renowned for their terrible driving and, as such, it is of extreme danger to allow them loose on a racing circuit. Owners are expected to stand well back. Seriously, we've had one giraffe fly off the circuit and land on a house in Coppull (the animal was fine, the home was demolished). Please do not engage rival pet owners in fisticuffs during the racing action, even if your pet is shoved off the circuit by an out-of-control giraffe. No refunds. Ever.
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