Big Brother

Nov 26

This is the start of a beautiful friendship.

Last fall, T's child and youth worker made the excellent suggestion to look into a Big Brother-style mentorship program for T.

I believe in mentorship and surrounding T with positive influences is important, because making friends is hard for kids with FASD.

Despite best efforts, we have yet to find a program that feels right and one that is FASD informed.

A few weeks ago, while celebrating the hubby's birthday with my uncle's family, my cousin J suggested that he and T hang out one on one.

When my family came to Canada when I was 8, I grew close to my cousin J and his sister; enjoying sleepovers, watching Power Rangers, collecting X-Men comics through our childhood.

My uncle's family especially understands our FASD journey, because my cousin Tracy, J's sister, has Down syndrome.

T adores his Uncle J. Our families hang out regularly and do a weekend trip during summers.

So this seemed like a natural fit and we agreed to give it a try.

Hiking on Beausoleil Island with Uncle J in summer 2018 when T was 3.

We were recently approved for government funding that we could use towards recreation (e.g. swim lessons), technology and books.

The funding also supports respite services and respite provided by family members is eligible.

The stars were aligned.

T's first time trying to fish at age 2 with the hubby. His Uncle J took us on a boat out on Oastler Lake.

In special needs parenting, it's important to try things out

The big visit took place at lunch today and T was excited, having counted down for two weeks.

J brought delicious chicken cutlet sandwiches for the hubby, him and I - while our selective eater made himself Eggo waffles.

Then T showed J where the cats hung out then they played Nintendo; I reminisced about the many hours J and I spent playing Nintendo as kids.

The hubby and I originally planned to duck out to do Christmas shopping, but I felt tired after recent events and spent quiet time upstairs by myself.

After an hour, we gathered to enjoy a delicious apple pie J's partner had baked.

And just like that, 2.5 hours flew by and J headed off. But not before getting big hugs from T.

Who knows how long this will keep up. Instead of trying to plan every step ahead, like I often do, I'll let this play out one step at a time.

Our families are seeing each other in three weeks and we invited J over during Christmas break to spend time again with T.

I emailed an update to T's CYW. I know she will be pleased.

I had seen her earlier in the week at drop off and she told me T always complains that other kids have siblings while he only has cats. 🤣

I guess Big Brother will have to do, cuz the ship has sailed loooong ago on a sibling for T - along with what's left of my youth.

Our first weekend trip with T and my uncle's family to Oastler Lake. T curiously played with a fish that his Uncle J (leg pictured on the right) caught that morning. He was only 1 in this pic - how time flies.