I'm listening…..

susartandfood

Dec 7

I seem to be moving through some sort of spiritual "shift", if you will, of late. Can't quite put my finger on the root of where this inward movement is coming from, but it feels a bit like I am an oak in early fall shedding old leaves and watching them drift slowly to the ground. Not sure what the new growth in the spring will look like, but it is an interesting, and at times uncomfortable, process to find oneself in the middle of.

Certainly this would not be the first growth period of my life that I would find difficult, or that would leave me feeling like I was trying to shove a size 8 foot into a size 5 pump. The surprise to me, is that it rose up out of nowhere without warning about a month ago. As far as I can tell, it was spurred on by nothing that obviously changed, but it seems insistent on seeing itself through to fruition. Fine.

I believe I am not alone in this "unsettling" sort of feeling. A lot of people report in our conversations they are feeling the effects of the currents of collective energy circling above our heads. Especially, I believe, with all the events transpiring in the world at the moment. A dear friend of mine called me last night to tell me she is seeking some help from a counselor for mood swings she has been experiencing. I was delighted to hear she was reaching out to talk to someone. I can remember a time when if you were brave enough to ask for professional help they deemed you "crazy" or "weak". These days, going to a psychiatrist or psychologist is as common as ordering a latte at your local Starbuck's. We all need our marbles shaken up and reorganized from time to time, and sometimes this can't be an inside job but requires the intervention of another mind or opinion.

Mental health issues are surely as prevalent as physical health issues, but more surely less talked about. People in all financial circles, races, sexes, and ages, suffer from mental upsets of one form or another requiring a little mental tweaking. Even my dear little maternal grandmother, who seemed the most level of humans to me growing up, suffered occasionally from bouts of depression. I am thankful every day this particular trait, out of the many wonderful qualities she had to pass on, was not one that came my way. Rick was another one who had difficult lows while we were together. He was diagnosed with bipolar disease. Like most mental illness, it is a disease affecting both the person dealing with it, and the peripheral players in their world. Aside from dealing with managing his thoughts at times, Rick had seasonal depression which took hold when the weather turned dark and gloomy. There are actually special UV lights you can purchase, it you find yourself dealing with this. We never got one for whatever reason, but I have heard they are beneficial.

There are many forms of treatment besides therapy. Drugs are often prescribed to help balance an unbalanced mind. Even more severe forms of treatments can be put into use such as shock therapy, or in extreme cases at one time they thought lobotomy's necessary. Thankfully, this practice fell out of favor in the 1950's due to the dangers associated with it. My mother told me they performed shock treatments on my grandmother at one point. I am somewhat familiar with this practice. I also had a friend when in my twenties who was treated to this particular form of torture, or so it seems to me. It conjures up Jack Nicholson in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and scenes from "The Snake Pit". Ugh. To this day this is a treatment used on people who suffer from severe depression, or bipolar disease, etc. For me, it seems radical, and I'd have to be thoroughly convinced it had huge value before either undergoing such a treatment myself, or allowing a loved one to submit to it. When thinking of my grandmother, who weighed about 98 pounds, with ten pounds of wet rice in her pockets, I cannot imagine the impact this must have had on her system. Apparently, according to my mom, when she came home afterwards for a brief time she didn't recognize her own house or the people who occupied it. Thankfully, her memory was restored but who knows what scars were left on her brain?

We know actually very little about the brain when compared to other parts of the body. It is a complicated and almost mystical part of us living creatures. Often I wonder where all our thoughts go when we are no longer living, but that is a conversation best left to loftier minds or days when I have a nice bottle of wine chilling in the fridge.

I freely admit to having gone for counseling when the situation warranted it. It is not easy for me to relinquish the reins and say I can't manage my own life, but at times that has been exactly the truth. Not that I couldn't manage it exactly, but it was either overwhelming or I couldn't figure out how to get things in order without someone else willing to give me a hand up.

Someone told me once again the other day with great certainty, "we only use 10% of our brain". I did some research into this and found that this is simply not true. In actual fact we use most of our brain, although there are days where, in my case, I might consider 10% an overreach. There are many things you can do to keep your brain "fresh" if you will. Exercise, such as walking 30 minutes every day, bike riding, or whatever your poison is, helps brain function. Check. Hydration is important. I get no check on this one. I am bad at hydrating, unless it is coffee, and coffee is not a friend of hydration. I will have to remember to do better. Using your brain to solve puzzles, games, etc. is also very good for your mind. I have taken to playing on-line Scrabble. Always I have enjoyed playing games, but Scrabble is something my mom and I would play for hours and hours. If I do say so myself, and again this is me and I am saying it, I'm pretty darn good at it. Mother, even when the dementia had taken hold, was somewhat of a savant when it came to the game. She may not have remembered what she ate for breakfast, but she could ferret out a complicated word out of her the letters she was given and whup you big time at Scrabble.

I had someone say, when talking about therapists, "well, they are paid to listen". Exactly, and your point would be? Often just saying something out loud and allowing the feelings to escape, helps you to sort them out and understand them better. Truthfully, I think we have lost the art of listening in this country. We certainly have honed the art of talking. I find in many conversations, particularly on incendiary topics such as politics or religion, the other party is simply chomping at the bit for the last word to come out of my mouth so they can jump in and either tell me how wrong I am or give their opinion. In my job I would say, 80% of my day involves actively listening to the people around me. Many of the residents in the facility don't have family members who visit regularly. It can be very isolating. They will come to my desk with pictures to share or memories to relive. It is my favorite part of the job.

So, I'm here, lol. Give the gift of listening to someone today. It will make them feel special and heard.

Happy Thursday!!!!!