Furious riots erupted today at a baked potato art exhibition in London. This follows mere weeks after violent baked beans protests also erupted in London.
The moment the exhibition turned from a peaceful gathering among art lovers into a hellish onslaught of carnage and mayhem was captured in the above picture.
It was, initially, unclear why the riots began.
But it later emerged attendees were so greatly disappointed with the quality of the baked potato artwork at the exhibition, they decided the best course of action was to burn the building encasing the artwork down to the ground.
Baked: About the Baked Potato Art Exhibition That Has Been Immolated by Marauding Lunatics
The creator of he exhibition, a Mr. Craig McCarthy (63), launched the exhibition Baked in late March 2024. He told us in an exclusive interview:
"I chose the name Baked as it successfully represents the denouement of the oeuvre pertaining to the daily ennui of the propitious haute couture that aligns with the semiotics of hegemony relating to egregious potato overuse."
Mr. Craig McCarthy, artist
We've no idea what he means, but we do think every single one of his baked potato pieces is a masterpiece of the highest order.
Despite such exceptional cultural relics being on offer, on the 31st March 2024 attendees became visibly angry about the work.
So visibly angry they began lighting fires, engaging flamethrowers, and one bloke even drew forth a bazooka.
The carnage that followed is beyond describing and only the lowest of the low, the absolute vilest bottom of the barrel tabloid journalism, would resort to reporting it.
What Happened During the Baked Potato Art Exhibition Riots
As with the baked beans riots also in March 2024, there was much mayhem. There were many explosions and British exclamations such as, "Bloody hell!" and "You absolute rotter!"
Luckily, no one was killed in this event. But there were many singed eyebrows and several people, due to being woke, burst into tears.
Otherwise, the artist Mr. Craig McCarthy was delighted with proceedings. He said:
"Such idiotic behaviour draws attention to my terrible, half-arsed art and one is tremendously in expedience of delight over this matter. Tremendously. Expedient. And the other bit."
Mr. Craig McCarthy, terrible artist
Unfortunately, Mr. McCarthy has since been charged with the sole responsibility of the riot and is set to "rot in jail" for a long time. In a hastily organised trial, put together by the rioting mob, the artist was charged with sedition and sentenced to a "fate worse than death... death!"
Mr. McCarthy was then set to be boiled alive by the angry mob, who'd put together placards reading, "Boil crap artists, not potatoes!" in an awfully poor slogan reflective on the lack of intelligence on display amongst the masses.
Police Intervention and Mr. McCarthy's Release
Once the police was informed a boiling alive ceremony was set to commence in London, they acted with the utmost integrity and speed by responding half a day later.
Luckily, that was just in time to prevent the artist from being boiled alive, although his big toe on his right foot did insert into the boiling water prior to the ceremony being ended by angry police officers. Mr. McCarthy told us:
"It hurt like a bastard."
Mr. Craig McCarthy, terrible artist
It is ironic to note that Mr. McCarthy was then still tried by the state and is set for at least 20 years imprisonment for his terrible art. Within the confines of his solitary confinement, his sole meal will be baked potatoes.
May that be a lesson to all of us.
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