Whilst Gulliver's Travels (1726) by Johnathan Swift swiftly became a literary classic, few know about the spin-off work Gullible Travels (1995).
Written by John Fast (a potential pseudonym), it's the sad story of a man constantly getting ripped off by dodgy Ceefax and Teletext travel agency deals. Following the life of one Lesley Gullible, readers enjoy a literary tour de force of a halfwit getting screwed over.
The Nature of Tourism Scandals in Gullible Travels
"I hid myself between two leaves of sorrel, and there discharged the necessities of nature. The local natives told me to do it."
This work is analogous to The Discounts of Monte Cristo in that it is, essentially, all about the wonderous joys of sales hustle. Gullible Travels promotes:
- Dubious travel deals surreptitiously burying context and hidden charges.
- Obnoxious sales hustle.
- Exploitation of happy-go-lucky travellers out to travel at cheap, cheap prices.
- Bargain bin holidays.
- Cramped seats parked next to annoying strangers on bargain bin flights.
The work is about Lesley Gullible. He loves travelling! He's single but, hey, at 36 he reckons the love of his life is out there somewhere in the big old wide world.
HE'S JUST GOT TO GET OUT THERE TO FIND HER!
The Gullibility and Gubbins of Happy-Go-Lucky Holidaying
Thus, into the shady world of Ceefax and Teletext deals does he go. Now, for those of you not around in '90s UK... Teletext was a standard display of text using primitive graphics on TV. It looked like this!
Cutting-edge (for its day). The likes of Lesley Gullible had no chance when taking in amazing cheap, cheap budget holidays to the likes of:
- Skegness (Skeggy)
- Plymouth
- Devon
- Spain
- France
- Portugal
- Papua New Guinea
- Pitcairn Islands
The main thrust of the Gullible Travels narrative is Lesley Gullible's gullibility is a smarmy former estate agent turned travel agent sells him three holidays in one:
- A direct flight to Skegness at a mere £1,500 in budget class.
- Followed by a direct flight to Svalbard as part of a Norwegian archipelago to stay inside a remote hut in sub-zero temperatures (at a mere £2,500).
- Then a flight direct to Barranquilla in Columbia for a fortnight at a cost of only £3,412 before a return flight to Manchester airport.
Lesley finds such an astonishing package deal impossible to resist. He signs on the dotted line, packs his suitcase, and heads off to Skegness with his speedos at the ready!
Lesley's Travels
Across multiple chapters packed with jolly Britishisms and other such fancy, Lesley bumbles his way from one region to the next.
Whilst in Skegness he's apprehended by hoodlums three times and has his wallet stolen on each occasion. Undeterred, he heads off to Svalbard and gets severe frostbite in his big toe on his left foot. Not one to let that get in the way of a good time, he then goes straight to Barranquilla and offends the locals by refusing to eat anything except chips and eggs.
Disappointed, he returns home severely sunburned and has his frostbitten big toe amputated. He also never gets his wallets back.
Lesley also doesn't meet the girl of his dreams. To commiserate he goes out on the lash, gets extremely drunk, and has a fistfight with a bald bloke wearing an England shirt. The moral of the story? Be less gullible.
Gullible Travels' Mediocre Literary Reputation
"It is like reading the ingredients list for something like a pork pie. Initially quite interesting, but once you get past the 'pork' bit you just sort of trail off because you realise you are doing yourself more harm than good, really. The book is quite mediocre and has also put me off travelling to Skegness. This is not good for the British economy." Henry Jones, literary critic, writing for The Literary Critic Magazine in July 1995
Gullible Travels is famed for its mediocre reviews. Not bad, not particularly good either, it's the type of book you (ironically) read on holiday when you're too drunk, hungover, and/or sunburned to do anything else.
Forgettable, then, although the work is also noted for devastating tourism in the Skegness region circa 1995.
It's said the area took at least eight months to recover from the bad press Gullible Travels cursed the seaside town with. This earned author John Fast a lifetime ban from Skegness and if he so much as travels within 10 miles of the civil parish he will be shot with a bazooka.
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