"Oh my God, when is that baby going to stop crying," our 9-year-old said loudly during our recent flight home from Banff.
I was horrified and amused. The woman behind us burst out laughing.
Such is the life with T, who is never shy to speak his mind, even and especially when things are best said with an inside voice.
Like when we walked passed a man, and within hearing distance, he said matter of factly, "That man is fatter than Daddy!"
Or when we were at a McDonald's in Banff and he stared at a woman sitting at table with her kids then said to us, "Why does that woman have so many kids?" đŸ˜†
Yes, it's part of being a kid.
Yes, it's part of his exuberant personality.
I know it's partially due to it being a symptom of FASD, which makes him quick to speak and act before thinking through cause and effect.
Impulsivity and disregulation can make a challenging combination for those caring for individuals with FASD.
It makes life unpredictable, in both hard and amusing ways.
Like during a dinner outing with family at a crowded restaurant and we asked T to try something and he said, "This smells like shit!"
Thankfully, Chinese restaurants are very loud.
As amusing as these moments are in hindsight, the hubby and I are also struggling with T's language the past year.
Regular swearing - often times, a tic - rude language and talking back.
We try to work with him to address this, because we know if it continues, it will make it hard for him in the larger world, be it school, friendships, relationships and one day, work.
I can already see how off putting it is for others and it hurts my heart to see that.
But I do also see his big outdoor voice as something that can be channeled into something positive.
T is assertive and can argue with persistence for his point - and boy, is he good at bringing up things you've said in the past to his advantage.
These can be honed into strengths and personality assets for him one day.
As with anything in life with T, it's a work in progress and we try to focus on the big picture.
We remember who T he is at his core and at his purest moments - a kind, caring, funny as hell kid.
The "I love you!" that he screams out loud at night from his room to us after we've put him to bed is the best medicine for the soul.
As we start this new school year - how do I have a 4th grader already?! - I hope we can all work together to support his growth and to develop his big outdoor voice in a positive direction, while helping him developing a positive inside voice too.
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